1. The clothes: there is enough money in gym-wear, so how come it all looks so boring? Personally, I am in favour of baggy everything. If you look good enough to wear skin tight lycra then you don’t need to be in a gym.
2. The envy: my ego does not appreciate naked and toned people lording themselves around the changing room. My dignity and communal changing rooms do not mix.
3. The sweat: they aren’t lying when they say 80% of the body is water and boy does it like to escape in the gym. The healthy glow stage lasts about as long as my resolve.
4. The ego: I was labouring under the obviously naïve idea that the gym is designed for fitness and not for posing. If my recent experience is anything to go by people spend as much time posing in mirrors as they do working out.
5. The actual hard work: you have all your gym paraphernalia together and are ready to go, only to forget that you actually have to do some hard work. Your YSL towel and Evian water are little consolation when you fall off the treadmill.
3/4. Getting on with it: I could wax lyrical about my hatred of the gym. However, I suppose glamour is the outcome of the gym and that is the point. The solution: go to classes with friends and just have a laugh.