1. Beyonce Knowles she can sing: on his radio show bigot Howard Stern played an apparently undoctored version of Beyonce singing on US program The Today Show in which she sounded tone deaf. Silly people actually doubted the pipes of our Beyonce, foolish! Within a day the faker fessed up and revealed his techo-trickery. Beyonce did not so much as break a sweat throughout the whole thing.
Exhibit A – the fake clip
2. Lindsay Lohan on Ellen: LiLo, HoLo, LesLo (etc etc) was less than coherent conducting an interview on the Ellen Show. She claims to have not known that Sam Ronson broke up with her and does a very bad job at convincing the public she is a-ok. Only the possibility of Mean Girls II could save her now.
I could link in the interview, but it is largely boring and long, so instead here is a supposedly tongue-in-cheek clip she did for FunnyorDie.com. Im not laughing with her.
3. Susan Boyle has a makeover: well she had her eyebrows plucked. This previously pedestrian lassie is now arguable the most famous organism on the planet right now. I don’t think she is the next Ruthie Henshaw (who performed the best rendition of I Dreamed a Dream – link http://tinyurl.com/cwy65l – us gays are contractually bound to know these things). Anyway, I love it when the underdog has the last laugh.
4. Jade Goody the Musical!? rumours are on the mill that a musical of Jade Goody’s life will be going into production. I have absolutely nothing against the late Goody, I think she was endearing and very savvy. I understand that she wanted to provide for her children after she was gone, but the whole thing is making the passing of Princess Diana look like a sombre and subtle affair.
5. I’m an American Celebrity – get me publicity! Heidi and Spencer from fake-reality show This Hills are both appearing in staged-reality show I’m a Celebrity US. Here is hoping Spencer gets bitten by something large, like a lion.
3/4. Apparently some kind of budget-thingy came out on Wednesday. Whether it will be as important as news items 1 – 5 is yet to be seen.