top 5 and 3/4… Always judge a boy by his finger nails

You should never judge a book  by its cover, but can you judge a librarian by his trousers?


Good looking, tall, and a librarian (it works for me), the young man who works of the University of Amsterdam’s library is a fine catch (for my single friends out there – fret not bf – he may have books but he hasn’t got a boat!) but HE WEARS FLARES. And like that, the spell is broken. Each morning when I return or pick up books, I see him across the counter and the illusion that good looks equals good dress sense is alive and well and occasionally makes me blush. But if I see him on the library steps having a cigarette and see his trousers I’m awakened to a sense of horror and as much as anything, utter disappointment.

Here’s my spell breaking list of  how Prince Charming  can turn into the fashion equivalent of self – harming.

1. Hair: so many ways to go wrong.

2. Shoes. I’d like to pretend I wasn’t a slave to a boy in a cool pair of brogues, deck shoes or Nikes but I’d just be lying

3. Long finger nails on men – my mother always warned me to stay well away. Sound advice.  

4. Chains attached to belts that things hang off: it is the adult equivalent of attaching mittens to coats. Grow up.

5. The wide and impossible to condense genre of bad clothes; generally ill – fitting, strange shapes or strange colours. In short, stay away from strange

3/4. The best thing about having a boyfriend – aggressively ‘advising’ him on what to wear

A judgemental and (at times) superficial AMS



Filed under Uncategorized

2 responses to “top 5 and 3/4… Always judge a boy by his finger nails

  1. sparklingwhine

    Amen sister.
    I think we should have a spin off consultancy service for straight boys.

  2. disconaplondon

    Your mum is so right about number 3. Plus, I am the epitome of 3/4 – the other day my boyfriend finally said “I’m thinkig of phasing out the bootleg jeans” and I experienced joy.


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