Top 5 3/4…Officewear Politics

In the tradition of recession, I find myself mid-twenties and unemployed. The current tactic to secure my future employ is to undertake various legal internships. Scratch that, law is not exciting enough for interns, so let’s just call it work experience.

 Being thrust into the world of work again after my recent studentdom brings with it many a fashion dilemma.

 While us men have historically had an advantage over women on the slippery career ladder, one area where men trail far behind women is in the work-wear fashion stakes.

 1. The controversial cardigan: I think by now men en masse have embraced the cardigan as a staple wardrobe item. But even the most laissez faire cardigan wearer can become shocked with the introduction of the cardigan to office life. It is time to rebel and wear your cardigans with pride.

Professionally challenged?

Professionally challenged?

 2. The straight jacket suit: For the time being us men have to make peace with the fact that a suit is required of us to be taken seriously at work. As a result, I implore all men not to buy suits that are several sizes too large. Its worryingly common among men and looks scruffy. If you can smuggle a small elephant under your jacket and your shoulder pads resemble a costume from Dynasty, just buy a smaller size.

 3. Crazy ties: Time to drop a bombshell. Novelty ties are not funny. There is nothing cute or hilarious about wearing them, you just look like a tool.

 4. Braces: recently made infamous by Apprentice idiot, I mean contestant, Ben. Colourful braces are in theory a cool addition to the boring suit. However in practice they just make you look like an 80s throwback who is trying too hard.

 5. Yuppie-be-gone: on the subject of braces, nothing is more repellent in the office than the yuppie look. Explicitly, this involves a pinstriped suit, starched white collar / cuffs with a blue shirt, a gold pinkie ring, and a long mop of hair slicked back with grease. It’s the manifestation of the sentiment that money does not buy taste.

¾. The solution: Ozwald Boateng suit, COS shirt, vintage tie and Kurt Geiger shoes.

Kurt, my dear friend.

Kurt, my dear friend.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Top 5 3/4…Officewear Politics

  1. A

    Why do novelty ties exist? I think they should be banned.

  2. T

    I agree with the cardigan in the office, people are still a little weirded out by it. Fools be them I say. Also this post needs some pictures.

  3. sparklingwhine

    Those wiley lawyers make it impossible to download things from the internet, ergo my photoless post.

    Watch this space…

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